Enough Now

You ask
why I seem so much older
and I wonder
why that matters…

Is it not enough
to sometimes feel the sunlight
falling through the pattern of the window
to broken patches on the floor
alone?

To let that warmth
rest on your face
unquestioned?
Noticed, but not called out?

It can be enough
to just listen
to the space around you.

To just feel
the bodies moving –
hugging, touching, being;
To just observe
the connections
and the moments and interactions.

Questions
and curiosity
are both true things

But so is
resting
and accepting
the energy present here and now.

I think that there is a time
for speaking
and saying
and adding;

But sometimes it is the time
for appreciating
and observing.

Not everything requires a reason.

…The answer is
not older,
or wiser,
but more:
at ease.

-L

Solitude

I want to learn how to sit in solitude, again.
I want to re-learn how to be alone.
How to lie comfortably in silence,
surrounded by my emotions,
uninterrupted in my thoughts.

I want to learn how to stand in solitude, again.
I want to re-learn how not to be lonely.
How to rise confidently in seclusion,
grounded in my surroundings,
unintimidated by the day ahead.

I know what it is to be lonely.
But I also know that loneliness is not alone.
And I want to be alone, again.
Or rather, I want to re-know what it is to be alone,
but not lonely.

I want to not miss you so badly when you are gone.

-L

lonely girl, desert journey

am i only a
reflection?

the hues and
textures of
those i love
woven into
the lines on my
palms?

when i am so
far away from
the rolling hills
and rocky peaks,

do i still exist?

i cut open the thick,
stale air around me
and can finally
breathe in the light,
again

this happens, i
am reminded of
myself with
no context,
no crutches,
just spine and
bare bones

i am green,
dusty, soft,
rocky, sharp,
ragged, muddy,
and hazy

i am tethered
to belonging,
only this time,
to my self

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-A