landscape of a heart

in my heart live ten thousand memories
and ten thousand more, unlived

i can feel them with the rough skin
of my fingertips
smell them in unwashed hair
or hear them on the street as i amble by

sometimes a premonition
often a flashback

i think that my heart’s landscape is green hills
filled with forest ferns and sycamore trees
drinking in the muddy river

there, i run freely
my pace changes
my breath
up and down the hills
around and through

i think your shoulder
is one of the hills
of my landscape

my weary mind’s resting place
if only for a moment

but i’ll beg for ten thousand more

i want to be part of
your heart’s landscape

-A

Memory No. 1

This is a memory I will continue to recall until I turn it sour.

You made me tea in the morning.
Blizzard outside
Chill inside
Sleepy and hungover
Sore throat
Sad to leave,

You made me tea in the morning
And mixed it with milk like it was a habit.

Tea is cozier than coffee.
Coffee forces you to wake up quickly.
Tea lets you wake up slowly
Or puts you to sleep,
Lets you sit for hours and share secrets
Or just a look –
The look I gave you over the rim of your mug:
Love.

I forget that you left me at the train stop.
I rode all the way home alone for the last time.

The milk in the tea made it sweet,
But my tears tasted salty.
Sour.

-L

the question

do you remember when
you laid me down, softly
under the open sky
your body pressed against me
holding me down and
keeping me warm

from there, my back pressed against the sandy earth,
your loose hair tickling my cheeks
i could see
the desert night sky unfolding
the stars and planets,
like a blanket laid on top of us
*
ellie says that love is a question
that begs to be answered
day after day

it is a commitment, not certainty
that we choose

the question, the answer
a ritual
*
i’d be lying if i said
i’m not scared

and always, I am looking for
a neatly put-together set of
directions

but there is give and take,
ebb and flow
winds that chisel and change

and we do not remain the same
*
we change, we grow
you there, and I, here

we make plans
together, and apart

and we ask ourselves the question
day after day

I ask the question today
and inside, amidst the uncertainty
my answer is
yes

-A